Super Awesome Mystery Prize!!

Nothing that interesting happened today. Why? Cause today we actually sent out some “real” prizes. Pretty lame if you ask me. But I guess when our special little man, let’s call him “Chris”, gets his iPod next week he’ll just have to come back here and try getting a prize that’s actually SUPER and actually a MYSTERY. It might be AWESOME as well. There’s nothing special or mysterious or awesome about an iPod, but I guess since our sponsor kicked down 10 of them for us, we’ll have to send them out eventually. I’ll just put it off for as long as possible because sending out an iPod does not make an interesting post.

So I just went to send somebody a super-cool prize I put together, and couldn’t find the packing tape.  I went to bug George (aka crack) about it, and he was like “you needed that?  I just sent it to someone in Oregon.”

What a dumbass.

I apologize to everyone who’s getting their prizes today in duct taped up packages.

I don’t know if you guys remember from when I sent out my old phone, but I have a blackberry now. It’s pretty cool…except for the fact that I am now available 24/7. It’s f-ing ridiculous. My boss sends something on a Saturday night, and if I don’t respond by Sunday he gives me a hard time. It’s pretty messed up.

Well anyway, there are some cool things about having a Blackberry. The coolest, most rad thing of them all, is BRICK BREAKER! The game is ridiculously addictive. The other day, I FINALLY got to the last level, beat it, and started to cheer thinking I won and realized…THERE IS NO WINNING! They bring you back to level 1 and you just play through again…except this time you’re playing in hyper speed! It’s soo messed up.

So my high score now is 25,990! But being good at Brick Breaker isn’t always a cool thing. It’s one of those games you want to play every time you have some down time….and when do you have the most downtime when you’re a Blackberry toting, commuting, workaholic computer nerd?? I bet you guessed right…WHEN YOU’RE POOPING. But now, my average Brick Breaker game is wayyyy longer than my average poop and everyone thinks I have “bathroom problems” now. It’s kinda embarrassing.

Well, all this Brick Breaker lately had me rummaging through old boxes to try and find my original Nintendo, and just as importantly, one of my old favorite games…ARKANOID! (basically the exact same game as BB) But after finally finding everything and hooking it up, remembering that I had to stick a cassette tape in my Nintendo because the spring or latch or something broke inside of it, I realized, my Nintendo…is busted. TOTAL BUMMER.

So…I am going to make someones day very very very very happy. Today I’m sending out Arkanoid, and in the next few days I’m gonna send out the rest of my old Nintendo games. Treat them nicely. Please. This is a tough time for me.

So I was sending out some stuff today (a hamster ball and a limited edition Stooges LP) when I started pondering something. Is there a way we could send someone their own virginity? Wouldn’t that be great to have back?! To be a virgin again! Can you remember what it was like? Oh….maybe that’s more mean than funny.

<3 Crack

So…I posted about the new website a little bit ago, and mentioned the bag of sand I sent out the other day.  I immediately got yelled at by two of my friends telling me that “I crossed the line.”  There’s a LINE???  What the hell is this…the f-ing Hello Kittie store at your local mall?  I would understand if I pooped between pieces of wonder bread and sent out shit sandwiches everyday, but this was SAND…CALIFORNIA SAND!

Ok, so I’m a jerk, or whatever, but seriously…there are people in undeveloped countries who gather around TV sets hoping to catch a glimps of California sand…or Baywatch boobies…and I could only imagine the look on one of their children’s faces if they were actually able to TOUCH California sand.

Anyway, the guy I sent the sand to was in Chicago, and I sent it to him with a letter explaining to him that here in Southern California it was close to 80 degrees at the beach that day and that I knew through the wonders of the internet, that it was FREEZING in Chicago.  So, he might not have received a Captain Planet video, or an iPod, or whatever, but he’s got bag filled with a thousand* grains of sand (or LOVE) from Malibu, California!  When he’s down he can smell California in the sand, he can build something with the sand, he can create artwork, re-gift it, or he can throw it in his nephews eyes to make him stronger.

-Mike

PS.  Sand is beautiful, and I won’t stand for anyone discriminating against it.

*Approximation.

I sent 5 bucks to www.superawesomemysteryprize.com and all I got was this crappy website!!!?

Hahah…anyway, we’re using Wordpress to build this site so that we can more easily update you crazy cats on what we’ve sent out lately, and what you’ve sent us. Hopefully it works out. In all of our genius glory, we took down the old site and replaced it with this one before we got the paypal stuff working…so only the regulars who have the old PayPal information and can remember the prices will be ordering Super-Prizes for the next day or so….and since you’re a returning customer, you’ll get the “royal” treatment! (Not like the guy I sent a bag of sand to yesterday!!)

So why is this a great DEAL???! Why??, because we’re cheap, Wordpress is FREE, and I use bad grammar. (I doubt that made any sense at all)

I know what you guys are thinking, and I’m going to put an end to it NOW. “How can wordpress be FREE yet I had to send you 5 bucks for a bag of sand?” HOW? I’ll tell you how…Wordpress doesn’t send you ungrateful jerks iPods, video games, and LOVE. Yeah, I said it…We love you.

Oh yeah…stamps are expensive when you have a manilla envelope full of butterflies to send someone.

Again, sorry half this site doesn’t work yet…we’ll have a new message board, shop, and everything ready soon.